Will-power is an amazingly accurate predictor of\nacademic success, a flourishing career, effective leadership, a long life, even\na happy marriage. We\u2019re all struggling with temptation, addiction, distraction\nand procrastination as a part of human life. But for some, the bias towards\ndoing \u201cthe harder thing\u201d appears to be more consistent and natural, they seem\nto be sticking to their plan in the face of every challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your willpower is supported – or not, as the case may\nbe – by your brain, via its powers to bias you to DO certain things (\u201cI Will\u201d –\nexercise more?) and REFRAIN from other things (\u201cI Won\u2019t\u201d – check emails\nconstantly?). Both of those will-power elements flow from your long term-goals\nand desires: \u201cI Want\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, when you are tired or distracted, your\nbehavior tends to run on autopilot and the decision-making becomes disconnected\nfrom your goals. As an example, one study asked people how many food-related\ndecisions they had made in one day. Average response was 14. On careful\ntracking, the result turned out to be 227!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s like we have more than one mind, each with its\nown point of view on what\u2019s the best behavior. To stay true to your plan,\nyou\u2019ll need to mobilize the \u201cI Want-power\u201d: to make conscious decisions based\non your goals, not fly on autopilot where you don\u2019t even realize the\nconsequences of your actions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And more: It\u2019s not enough to identify what you want to\nchange, you need to know how, when and why you\u2019ll be likely to fail<\/em>. If\nyou cannot predict when you will give in, you will expose yourself to more\ntemptation, be likely to be surprised by setbacks and give up on your goals in\nthe face of difficulties. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This means, you will need to understand the impulse\nyou\u2019re giving in to, to be able to flex your \u201cI Wan\u2019t\u201d brain-muscle, activate\nyour goals and remember your original objective. This impulse may be very\ndifferent from what you thought. <\/p>\n\n\n\n One email-addict wanted to cut back on checking emails\nbut was finding it hard to reach her goal. Although she really wanted to not\npick up her phone so often, she didn\u2019t even realize what happened before she\nwas already scrolling down the screen (the autopilot was doing the flying). She\nneeded to stop herself sooner! On careful analysis, she discovered that the\nimpulse to check emails felt almost like an itch, a tension that was relieved\nwhen she checked her email. Don\u2019t think this is any different from other forms\nof addiction! By understanding when she was likely to fail, she was able to mobilize\nher will-power already on the impulse \u2013 a first important step towards \u201cowning\nup\u201d to the behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Active management of your thoughts is an\nenergy-consuming activity that shouldn\u2019t be overdone; it makes no sense to try\nto exercise your willpower every minute of the day. Still, it\u2019s real work to be\npulling thoughts back to where you (really) want them, doing \u201cthe harder\nthing\u201d. It just feels easier<\/em> to give in to unwanted impulses (being\nonline, losing your temper, drinking too much, yelling at the kids) or to put\noff work you really had an intention of completing (preparing for an important\nmeeting, cleaning up your emails, upskilling \u2013 you name it). <\/p>\n\n\n\n Meditation specifically trains the willpower and is\nscientifically evidenced to increase the grey matter (I.e. brain cells) in your\nprefrontal cortex \u2013 your Executive Brain, home of \u201cI Will\u201d, \u201cI Won\u2019t\u201d and \u201cI\nWant\u201d. Meditation works even without spiritual add-ons and if you\u2019re new to\nthis, there are loads of options available for guided practice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For a great review of scientific research on\nwill-power, packed with \u201ceasy-to-do on your own\u201d exercises, read \u201cThe\nWillpower Instinct\u201d<\/a> by Health Psychologist, Stanford PhD Kelly McGonigal<\/a>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Will-power is an amazingly accurate predictor of academic success, a flourishing career, effective leadership, a long life, even a happy marriage. We\u2019re all struggling with temptation, addiction, distraction and procrastination as a part of human life. But for some, the bias towards doing \u201cthe harder thing\u201d appears to be more consistent and natural, they seem … <\/p>\n