![\"\"](\"https:\/\/lonealler.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Thomas-Kilmann-Instrument-1024x583.png\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nWorking to\nmeet both sides\u2019 needs is Collaborating, and to meet at least some of both side\u2019s\nneeds is Compromising. A compromise is not the best outcome but the quickest\navailable option, as Chris Voss clearly illustrates in his book Never Split the\nDifference: a compromise between black and brown shoes is to wear one black and\none brown, no swag at all!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meeting your\nown need and not caring about the other side is Competing; meeting the needs of\nthe other side without getting anything for yourself is Accommodating; and,\nfinally, not trying to get anyone\u2019s needs met is Avoiding<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Conflict avoidance\nmakes no sense, not for you, not for them. Topics are circumvented and\nopportunity is drained. You change the subject, don\u2019t call back, skip the\nmeeting \u2013 whatever it takes to not face the conflict, making no room for the\nissue to be dealt with. Conflict-avoidance may buy you time, but it is unlikely\nto make the conflict disappear. Pressure will build, and the conflict can even\ngrow larger when avoided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But how to get\nthrough it then? Focus on the positive outcomes that awaits when the conflict\nis resolved. Your emotions will guide you, if you feel strongly about a\nconflict it\u2019s a sign that it\u2019s touching something important to you. Don\u2019t let emotions\ntake the steering wheel though! Stay calm, constructive and kind. Hard? Yes, but\nnot as hard as it sounds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A useful\nanalogy: see conflict as a process like the one of hanging a tarp over your\ntent. A good result requires people pulling from each corner; if one corner\npulls much harder than the other three, the tarp won\u2019t hang properly. It\u2019s not<\/em> a tug-of-war.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Following\nthe Conflict Code, developed by Liane Davey in \u201cThe Good Fight\u201d, you may\nprevent most conflicts and make the ones that are left, more productive and\nless taxing on your well-being. The model is a three-step approach: \u201cEstablish\na line of communication\u201d, \u201cCreate a connection\u201d and \u201cContribute to a solution\u201d.\n Liane Davey includes a set of exercises\nto train how to enable proactive management of tensions and interdependencies\nin a cross-functional teams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Conflict\nmanagement is included in the half-day course \u201cTeamwork in the Gig economy\u201d, an\nevent designed for leaders, project managers and teams wanting to improve\ncollaboration, performance and respect. The event is introducing participants\nto foundational skills for contemporary working life \u2013 willpower, self-awareness,\ncoaching, resilience, and can be tailored to fit actual needs in your team. More\ninformation here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Engaging in conflict is often thought of as problem behavior to be avoided, especially in a workplace context. We\u2019re born into this world with a distaste for threats, our brains constantly scanning our environment to avoid or eliminate them. Since conflicts can be hard on relationships, and relationships in turn being something we crave for … <\/p>\n