This post is not to deny the massive surge of stress as a cause of real and serious illness, or to make people go and look for more stress. But below findings are also real. The way we think and talk about stress should not ignore its upsides. There is a very strong link between feeling stressed and having a meaningful life. Not the link you may expect – would an absence of stress create the mental space to pursue meaning?
In fact, it’s the other way around: high levels of stress are associated with good public health, national happiness and good economy. Gallup World Poll researchers are keeping an eye on the global levels of happiness in their Global Emotions Report. In a 2005-6 survey of 125.000 people residing in 121 countries, they asked this question: Did you feel a great deal of stress yesterday? The worldwide average was 35% – with values from 67% to 5%. How well did this national variance correspond with other indexes of well-being? The higher a nation’s stress-index, the higher its wellbeing, life expectancy and GDP. With high levels of stress, more people are more satisfied with their life, health, work, standard of living.
Diving deeper into this surprising finding, the researchers discovered a “timing” factor: on the very day a person had felt stressed, that person was also more likely to have felt sad, worried, angry or depressed (like you would expect, right?). But these same people would report overall higher levels of joy, love and laughter on a previous day. So, stress is associated with distress (and a host of other problems) but also with well-being. A happy life is not stress-free, and a stress-free life is no guarantee for happiness. Nations reporting very low stress-levels, also reported high levels of shame and anger, and low levels of joy.
Clearly a controversial and surprising finding, the Stress Paradox: high levels of stress are associated with distress as well as well-being. To understand the underlying links between these seemingly contradictory findings, look to the concept of meaning. Among the best predictors of a meaningful life, stress ranks highly. People with a high number of stressful experiences in their past, will consider their life more meaningful. Time spent worrying about the future is considered meaningful. People with very meaningful lives will worry more and have more stress. Stress seems to be an inevitable consequence of committing yourself to goals and roles that will feed your sense of purpose.
Stress is a by-product of pursuing important and difficult objectives.
The way we talk about stress is not supporting our well-being. We talk about our struggles but not so much about what we learn from them. We reinforce the illusion of a stress-free life, but this would indeed come at a high cost. Avoiding stress can be isolating and a reduced sense of concentration and physical energy. Indeed, avoiding stress can be creating more sources of stress while drying up the resources that should be supporting you. Avoidant coping strategies, to keep yourself away from stressful situations or escape your own feelings, is likely to drive you towards a life without depth, meaning and community.
Understanding what gives meaning to your life will help you live with the unpleasantness of this “by-product”. People who see themselves as someone who overcomes difficulties, will be better able to cope with everyday stress. When you reflect on your values, the mindset you have about stress shifts and you see yourself as someone strong, able to grow from adversity. You’ll be more likely to seek challenges than to avoid them, and to see the meaning in difficult circumstances.
In some situations, avoiding the stress isn’t possible and denying its existence isn’t helpful. Remembering your values can transform your experience – from something happening to you against your will, to something that is a result of your priorities. Feeling stressed can feel like a sign you are inadequate. If you were strong enough, smart enough, you wouldn’t be stressed? Try to think like this instead: stress is not a sign of failure but evidence you are human. You can learn from it. Even in moments of frustration, stress and meaning are connected in the bigger picture of your life.
Findings quoted in this post are from Kelly McGonigal, 2015: “The Upside of Stress”
